When discussing the story of Exodus, we tend to hit the big points between Egypt and Mount Sinai, but there’s actually all manner of other events in that space of time, including a visit to Moses’ in-laws.
While there, his father-in-law watches as Moses spends a long, dedicated time hearing all the needs of the Israelites. That’s right. All. Exodus tells us that Moses sat there for the entire day just listening to squables and disputes and relaying God’s judgement to them.
Jethro is a rather nice father in law and when he sees what’s happening he takes Moses aside for a little chat.
“When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he asked, “What are you really accomplishing here? Why are you trying to do all this alone while everyone stands around you from morning till evening?”
Moses replied, “Because the people come to me to get a ruling from God. When a dispute arises, they come to me, and I am the one who settles the case between the quarreling parties. I inform the people of God’s decrees and give them his instructions.”
“This is not good!” Moses’ father-in-law exclaimed. “You’re going to wear yourself out—and the people, too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself. Now listen to me, and let me give you a word of advice, and may God be with you. You should continue to be the people’s representative before God, bringing their disputes to him. Teach them God’s decrees, and give them his instructions. Show them how to conduct their lives. But select from all the people some capable, honest men who fear God and hate bribes. Appoint them as leaders over groups of one thousand, one hundred, fifty, and ten. They should always be available to solve the people’s common disputes, but have them bring the major cases to you. Let the leaders decide the smaller matters themselves. They will help you carry the load, making the task easier for you.’” (Exodus 18:14-22)
Jethro takes such good care of Moses here. He gets what so many of us can’t see for ourselves when we are in the thick of things. Moses wasn’t the first person to need others to shoulder responsibility and he hasn’t been the last. It might just be possible that we were never meant to shoulder all the burdens solo.
We are hard wired to need others. History, science, every means we have of studying ourselves supports the notion that we need other people to be healthy and whole. You don’t need me to tell you that. You know without me saying it that you need people. Maybe you don’t like having them around constantly but you do know you need them. We just need other humans. One of the first things God noticed about Adam was that he was lonely and decided to do something about it.
And yet in some of our most intense moments of hardship or strain we have a nasty habit of convincing ourselves that we have to bear it all alone.
“Don’t be a burden,” we tell ourselves “Be strong, people are counting on you.”
How long do you think Moses would have lasted in the environment he created before his father-in-law intervened? How would the Israelites have gotten anywhere, let alone the promised land? In no time at all Moses would have been an exhausted, cranky, shell of a man with nothing left to give.
Do we need to bust our butts and work hard in life? Absolutely, but equally important is knowing when we’re not up to a task. Recognizing that a task is too much for you is not the same thing as quitting. Jethro’s plan for Moses didn’t include him skipping back to the Red Sea to lounge in a hammock and leave the Israelites to figure it out themselves. The plan kept Moses as a key figurehead of the work, but in a way that was sustainable for his well being. Similarly, in our own lives, it is not quitting to ask for help shouldering a load. We can ask for help and still be fully engaged and responsible. If anything, bringing in that help shows just how responsible you are being. It shows that you care about the task enough to want to ensure its survival. That’s a good, responsible worker. Not the one who burns out completely because they didn’t want to ask for any help.
God gives us people in our lives to help us bear our burdens. That’s not a mistake. He knows our limitations intimately and has plans to account for them. Like Jethro to Moses, God knows that it’s not good for us to bear all our responsibilities alone. He loves us deeply and gives us people who care about us and can labor alongside us.
We have to get ourselves away from the thinking that we have to do it all alone. That way lies madness and burnout. That is not part of God’s plan. God loves us deeply and doesn’t want to just use us until we are empty. He loves his creation and makes ways to take care of it. You are part of that creation. You are so worth taking care of too. So listen to the Jethros in your life who are tuned in to God’s rest. Trust me, they know what they’re talking about.
Let’s find some joy,
A
Avalon Robinson Author 