Prayer is hard work. Really hard work. It feels like it should be simple but ask someone how their prayer life is and you’ll find that one of the most common answers out there is “It could be better.”. I know that’s usually the answer for me.
Prayer is something I struggled with for most of my teenage years. I would listen to people pray and it all sounded so different from any way I thought. There was so much disconnect between the two that I had my moments of doubt where I thought I must be praying wrong. But somewhere along the line I realized nowhere in the Bible did it say I had to sound exactly like everyone else I heard praying.
So I started praying like I was thinking, trying to undo the idea that I needed to sound a certain way or say certain phrases for it to count as prayer. Learning to talk to God instead of making speeches to him. And you know what I found? I’m not a long prayer person. Instead I’m a person who will ping off a hundred, quick prayers all throughout my day. Yes, I work to set aside intentional time for prayer (that’s my area of “it could be better” right now), but I find som much goodness in the hundreds of little moments of talking to God throughout my day. All this has lead me to conclude something:
The best prayer practice is the one that has us talking earnestly and honestly to God.
Now I want to be very clear here. I am by no means advocating for a sort of empty headed “follow your bliss” view. The Bible has very clear instructions on prayer and how we’re meant to approach God. What I’m saying is that within the framework scripture provides us we need to stop comparing ourselves to the prayer lives of our fellow believers.
You will talk to God differently from them because you are in fact an entirely different person.
Think of how nuanced our conversations are with each other. Some of us are brief. Some of us our wordy. Some of us are direct. And some of us are meandering. Some need to take fifteen different detours to make one point. Some tell a story like they’re giving a report.
So if we talk to each other so differently, why should we expect to all talk to God the same way? I don’t think it was ever his intention for us to. How monotonous! How terrible! Who could stand it? I know I certainly wouldn’t want to talk to anyone if they all spoke to me exactly alike.
So embrace the face that you are your own person when you’re speaking to God. Talk to him as you are because that’s who he created you to be. When you go to pray, God is wanting to hear from you. Not a rehearsed version of you that you think you’re supposed to be. Raw, messy, imperfect, unfiltered you. That’s where the real prayer starts.
Some of the most meaningful prayers I’ve ever prayed were also the shortest and most completely unfiltered. God, it hurts. Oh God, thank you! God, don’t leave me! And I know God heard them and cared deeply about them. I know he wasn’t consulting a word count to see if I made the cut. He was there. He was listening. My prayers mattered to him.
Your prayers matter to him too.
Prayer is hard work not because it’s an impossible task, but because it is an aspect of relationship and relationships require constant hard work. Communication is not listed as one of the most important aspects of relationship for no reason. So if you’re going to have a relationship with God that means learning how to communicate with him. You. Not your parents, your sister, your brother, your best friend, or your grandma. You.
So how’s your prayer life? Is it based on the phrases you think God wants to hear from you? Or is it coming from a place of earnest communication? Prayer is a gift of unfathomable value and we cannot neglect it. You have the right to speak to the God of the universe, your creator. He wants you to talk to him. He wants to hear from you, just as you are. Be encouraged, Christian. He is listening.
Let’s find some joy,
Avalon Robinson Author 