If you and I ever talk about the Bible, You’ll quickly find out how much I like the story of Exodus. Every time I read it I get something new from it. But there is one moment, early in the story, that I gleaned long ago that I always come back to in my own low moments.
When we check in with Moses in Exodus 4, he’s fallen pretty far from the privileged royal life of his youth. He’s fled to Midian and is living as a shepherd. He’s carved out a good life for himself with a wife and a family, but he’s a far cry from the privileged royal kid who’d been spared by a miracle in the Nile. I’d wager Moses might have looked around at his job as a shepherd and his actions in the past and figured this was the best he was going to do.
But of course God wasn’t finished with him. Which is how Moses found himself standing in front of a burning bush speaking to the God of the universe.
Now, I don’t know how many experiences you’ve had speaking to the God of the universe via burning bush, but you would think you’d be very receptive to anything you’re told to do, especially something as momentous as freeing an entire people from slavery. But not Moses.
God tells Moses to go to Egypt and speak to Pharaoh and Moses starts slinging back excuses in a sort of spiritual squash match. Back and forth, back and forth. Moses is determined to not to the sole thing God put him on this earth to do. But every time, God tells him what he will do to cover him.
And then Moses, scraping the bottom of the barrel opts for using his own insecurities and shortcomings as an excuse.
“But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.” (Exodus 4:10)
That seems like a fair excuse at first glance. Afterall, a speech impediment is not something Moses can control. But God’s not having it.
“Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” (Exodus 4:11-12)
Moses is so worried about what’s wrong with him, he forgets who made him in the first place. How easily we do the same.
If you didn’t know this about me, I have a brain injury from a car accident I was in as a child. It’s not a problem enough to be visibly noticeable but is enough of a problem to impact the way I have to live my life.
And on low days, I can feel that my brain renders my contributions hopeless, that no matter how hard I try I will never be able to do or be enough. I can feel so small and like I’m less than everyone around me because of it. I can think it disqualifies me from doing anything great. And on really bad days, I tell God all about how worthless I feel and how I don’t understand why I have to deal with this. And that’s when God’s question to Moses becomes personal to me.
Who made Avalon’s brain?
That’s the question I should be asking. That’s the truth I should be pointing myself towards. Not why I can’t be like everybody else. Not what’s going to become of me. Not who could ever use my help.
Who made Avalon’s brain?
Because in that answer lies all the answers to my other questions. If I remember the answer to that one question, all the other fear-based questions begin to fall into their proper place and priority. We can be so wrapped up in our own perceived deficiencies, that we forget who knew we would have them before we were even a thought.
God is not slowed down by the things that give you trouble.
You will have shortcomings. That is completely inescapable in this broken world. Some of those shortcomings will be painful and might even break your heart at times. You can’t live in this world and escape brokenness and imperfection. It will find you, and you will have to find ways to deal with it.
But we have to remember the very simple, very true fact that God can work with that without breaking his stride. Because they were never stumbling blocks to God in the first place. He made you. He knew you completely and fully before your imperfections took hold and he loves and knows you completely in all the time since. There’s no difference to him in how much he loves you.
The stutter that Moses thought completely disqualified him wasn’t even a blip on God’s radar. His story didn’t end there. God gave Moses a way through his shortcomings and helped him accomplish incredible things. Because of God’s ability to to completely cover our shortcomings, Moses lead a nation to freedom and brought an empire to it’s knees. I wonder what God might do with us?
After all, who made man’s mouth?
Let’s find some joy,
A.
Avalon Robinson Author 