In Genesis 40, Joseph’s life isn’t exactly going well. Living in Egypt after being sold into slavery and thrown in jail for a crime he didn’t commit, things are less than ideal for poor Joseph. It doesn’t get much bleaker than sitting in jail with no idea when or even if you’ll get out again.
We’re not told how much time passes in this period, but clearly it was a good long while if in that time Joseph manages to rise in favor with the warden and be given some responsibilities and privileges. Yet whatever privileges he has, he’s still not free and the weight of his imprisonment had to be weighing on him as he trusted God to move and work. But then Joseph gets a glimpse of the outside world in the form of two new prisoners. Pharaoh’s baker and cupbearer are thrown into jail and land in Joseph’s care.
There, both men experience intense dreams that they know are rife with meaning, they just don’t know what. Joseph finds them discussing the matter and offers to interpret the dreams for them. They jump on his offer which leads to rather upsetting news for the baker (spoiler alert, he gets executed) and great news for the cup bearer. Joseph tells the cup bearer that in three days he’ll be restored to his position in all its prestige. The one favor Joseph asks is that the cupbearer remember him when he gets out of jail.
But the cupbearer immediately forgets Joseph as soon as he leaves the prison and doesn’t do anything to help him. And Joseph? Joseph would spend another two years trapped in jail before he’d get his freedom.
There’s a lot I could say (and have) about Joseph’s faithfulness here. Not completely losing yourself and your faith in the face of such total, despairing circumstances is a feat of monumental strength. But there’s another example to us here. An example of what not to do, and it comes in the form of the cupbearer.
If someone interpreted a dream with the great news that I would be freed from prison and then it came true, I would be beyond thrilled. And you would think gratitude would flow out of that thrill. You would also think that you’d be willing to do any favor for the person who gave you so much hope in your darkness. Especially help as simple as “remember me”. But that doesn’t happen. The cupbearer gets everything and he forgets to do the one, simple, small thing in his power to improve Joseph’s situation. And as a result, Joseph is left behind in squalor and misery.
I’d venture to guess I don’t need to tell you how hurtful and damaging being forgotten is. Just about everyone I know has had experience with this. The pain is only compounded by the forgetting choking out something you were hoping and waiting for.
That’s part of what makes keeping our word such a serious business. When we forget, or worse yet ignore, our promises, other people are hurt. Plain and simple. That’s the cost we need to be looking at when we promise something. We can’t measure our promises by the low cost to ourselves. The measurement is by the high cost to others. We need to think not “how bad will this be for me if I forget?”, or “how unpleasant is this going to be for me to do,” but instead “how bad will this be for them if I don’t follow through?”. That’s the real measure of cost with a promise
If you promise to remember or do something for someone, remember them. Plain and simple. Keep your word. It might be nothing to you but everything to the one who needs you to follow through.
There’s a reason Jesus included a teaching on oaths in his sermon on the mount, saying “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” (Matthew 5:37) Jesus advocates for the simplicity of promises because he knew how much damage we do to each other with our elaborate promising. Look at it this way, who takes better care of someone? The person who says they’ll do anything for you and then is always busy? Or the person who says yes they can do that and shows up?
Our word, or more importantly our lack of it, can have devastating consequences on others. What might not be all that big of a deal for you might be everything to the person who was counting on you to keep your word. You just don’t know. What we need is not more elaborate promises of how much we care and what we’ll do. We need a three letter answer and the effort to back it up.
And with that comes a need for honesty. If we can’t make good on something someone is asking of us, we need to be honest with them and say we can’t rather than promise and let them down. This is an area I’ve struggled with in my own life. I want people to like me so badly and I truly do want to help those around me that sometimes I can over promise my abilities. I say yes when I know I’m unable and then I let people down more spectacularly than if I’d just said no in the first place. In short, I break my word.
Fortunately, I have kind, forgiving people in my life who are pointing me to God and helping me get better at this. And you know what the result is? My word is more earnest and trusted. People know that if I’m saying yes I’m going to follow through. The trustworthiness of my word increases because I’m able to actually do what I say I’m going to do.
When it comes to making a promise, we need fewer words and more action.
Let’s not be the baker. Let’s be true to our yeses, kind with our nos and wise enough to know which one is needed. Jesus knew this was a weak area of ours and gave us clear, precise instructions on how to handle it. Less words, more action. That’s all we need with our promises.
Let’s find some joy,
A
Avalon Robinson Author 