When asked to name figures of the Bible, I highly doubt Rehoboam ever makes a top ten list. In fact, I bet some of you reading this right now thought “Who?” When you saw that name.
That’s not without reason. Rehoboam isn’t exactly a character to look up to or name children after. In his brief coverage in 1 Kings, he quickly establishes himself as a cruel and obstinate leader. In fact, there’s a very distinct moment where you see exactly when his decision making wheels fell off the bus.
Already not cutting a splendid figure as king, Rehoboam is met by a group asking him to treat them more kindly and lighten their loads. Rehoboam hears them, and then hears the counsel of wise older men who served his father. They advise him: “If you are willing to be a servant to these people today and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your loyal subjects.” (1 Kings 12:7)
So far so good. But then Rehoboam makes his critical mistake.
”But Rehoboam rejected the advice of the older men and instead asked the opinion of the young men who had grown up with him and were now his advisers. “What is your advice?” he asked them. “How should I answer these people who want me to lighten the burdens imposed by my father?” The young men replied, “This is what you should tell those complainers who want a lighter burden: ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist! Yes, my father laid heavy burdens on you, but I’m going to make them even heavier! My father beat you with whips, but I will beat you with scorpions!’” Three days later Jeroboam and all the people returned to hear Rehoboam’s decision, just as the king had ordered. But Rehoboam spoke harshly to the people, for he rejected the advice of the older counselors and followed the counsel of his younger advisers. He told the people, “My father laid heavy burdens on you, but I’m going to make them even heavier! My father beat you with whips, but I will beat you with scorpions!” (1 Kings 12:8-14)
Oh boy. You don’t need me to tell you how much good came of that.
Now, I’m not suggesting that only older people can offer good advice and all counsel from young people will lead you astray. I’ve had godly, life-changing advice from peers and destructive, self serving counsel from older generations. Age is not the point here. The point here is easy versus good.
Rehoboam gets good advice from his older counselors but it involves hard work, sacrifice, and no small amount of self examination on his part. No one likes being told they need to change or that they’re not doing that great of a job. But Rehoboam could have still course corrected at this point.
Where he fails is that rather than listen to good advice, he turns to a crowd of yes men. He turns to a group of his buddies who always tell him what he wants to hear and are only concerned with hyping up his power to keep themselves in good, easy standing. These are the kind of guys who encourage their buddy with anything that will validate his actions and keep them all having a good time.
Recognize ourselves in this? How often do we reject advice that would see us change and grow in favor of validation that “Everyone else is crazy! You’re fine! They’re just jealous of you and trying to bring you down!” I don’t like thinking of how often I’ve craved that kind of validation. We may not have an entire kingdom at stake, but the results are just as ruinous in our lives as they were for Rehoboam. When we listen to the yes men validators, we run the risk of staying complacently comfortable with the worst version of ourselves.
God loves us too much to leave us as the worst version of ourselves. He gives us good, Christlike people to point us to truth and the hard but good work of becoming more Christlike ourselves. But it’s up to us whether we listen to them and engage in the work of improving humbly and covered in grace or if we scoff and look for people to validate our mediocrity and self serving ideals.
The bummer? Christlike improvement is so much harder. The good thing? It’s so much more worth it.
The best advice may hurt, but it will also be what gives you your best chance for improvement. We need to carefully examine who we’re listening to. The true friends aren’t the ones who just make us feel good about ourselves. They’re the ones who love us enough to push us to be something more.
Look out for good friends, Christian. They make more of a difference than you realize.
Let’s find some joy,
A
Avalon Robinson Author 